Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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