Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
