Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
