so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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