i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
