Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
