she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
