ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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