I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
