i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
