I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
