Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
