ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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