Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
