My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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