in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
