Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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