just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Too much gin, very little bucket
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
