Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize