i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
