literally had 100 drinks last night.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
