one two three fourrrrnication!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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