That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
