If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
