apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
time to smoke my breakfast
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
