I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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