awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
