dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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