you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
