i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
