i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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