Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
