It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
