Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
