And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
