When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
