where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
