All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fuck appropriateness.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
