I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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