I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
