Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
