Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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