hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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