If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
