hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
