who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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