Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
