Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
