I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
