Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
